


Tears in Heaven

by nerdcredred



Series: Lifetimes [18]
Category: Atop the Fourth Wall, That Guy with the Glasses/Channel Awesome
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-31 04:19:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1027154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdcredred/pseuds/nerdcredred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harvey and Linkara visit Charlie's grave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tears in Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> All works can also be found at my LiveJournal page at http://bookishlady242.livejournal.com/
> 
> Written for lady_sci_fi for Secret Treehouse 2013 TGWTG Reverse Big Bang. Bonus content for the fic can be found at my LJ. Special thanks to my good friend ocelot_l for being my beta. We do not own these characters, nor the people who portray these characters. This is meant as a work of fiction and is fair use. "Tears in Heaven" is performed by Eric Clapton.

Harvey parked the car outside the cemetery and turned off the ignition. He laid back in his seat and took a deep breath, not even moving to remove his seatbelt. His eyes were closed for a minute or so before he opened them to give a sidelong glance into the mass of graves along the hill.

Harvey turned his head around when he felt a warm hand lay over his, squeezing gently. He tried to smile at Linkara but it proved too difficult for his face. He didn’t really know what possessed him to come out here, just that he felt it was time. “That’s not the first time you’ve thought THAT before,” Harvey thought dryly.

He remembered when he’d tried to come here after being displaced into this time, and he had sat in his car for three hours before finally giving up and going home. He tried again a few months later. That time he had finally managed to get his seatbelt off. Today, he was determined to get out of the car.

“Well…here we are.” Harvey said softly. Linkara squeezed his hand again. “Thanks for coming here with me, Kid. I don’t know if I could’ve done this without your help.”

Linkara lifted his hand to his lips and kissed it. “I’ll always help you when you need me, Harvey.” Harvey looked out the window again and then looked down suddenly. “Harvey, we really don’t have to do this if you don’t feel like you can handle it-”  
“No.” Harvey said, still not looking up, but holding Linkara’s hand in a tight grip. “I have to do this, Kid. I haven’t managed to go see him since the funeral and I have to do it sometime. But I…I need your help. I don’t care if I have to sit here all night, I gotta do it, Kid. Make me do it.”

Linkara nodded, undoing his seatbelt without letting go of Harvey’s hand. If Harvey wanted him to physically drag him up that hill, he’d do it for his boyfriend. “We can do this. Take as long as you need to, Harvey.” Harvey nodded, looking out the window once again. He still wasn’t sure if he could do this, but he knew that he had something he hadn’t had those other times. If Linkara had managed to save him from losing his mind, he could surely help him do this.

The two sat in silence for about ten minutes before Harvey reached to unclick his seatbelt. He let go of Linkara’s hand for just a moment to slide it off his body and then reached for it again. Linkara leaned back patiently, ready for a long wait if that was what it took, but then Harvey opened the car door.

The two let go of each other’s hands and exited the car. Linkara slammed his door shut and came around to the other side, where Harvey was standing on the sidewalk. He reached for his hand again but Harvey pulled him into his arms instead. Linkara held him back tightly, kissing his cheek to try and bolster his boyfriend’s confidence.

Harvey clung to Linkara like a lifeline, squeezing his eyes shut and burying his face in his neck. They were pressed so close together that he was sure Linkara could feel his heart pounding. “I-I don’t think I can do this.” He mumbled.

“Yes, you can.” Linkara whispered, rubbing Harvey’s back. “You’re strong, Harvey, and I’m here. I’m not gonna leave your side for a minute, I swear.”

“I haven’t been here in so long, Kid!” Harvey moaned, tightening his grip. “W-what if I’m not meant to be here? What if he’s angry at me? Oh god, how long has it been? I got pulled out of time and then I didn’t show up here until now, he probably thinks I’ve forgotten about him-“

“Harvey,” Linkara broke in gently, pulling back just enough to kiss him for a moment. “Charlie knows you haven’t forgotten about him. You could never forget about him. I’m sure he’s always watching over you, Harvey, and he knows what’s happened to you. He knows it’s hard. But what matters is that you’re trying to make things right, and I’m sure he knows that you’re trying your hardest.”

Harvey pressed his face into Linkara’s shoulder. Leave it to Linkara to always manage to say right what he needed to hear at any given time. He didn’t know how, but Linkara’s words were like a balm to his spirit, making the knot in his stomach loosen and his shaking start to slow. Harvey took a few ragged breaths before swallowing. “I…I can do this.” He took another deep breath and said, more clearly: “I can do this.”

“You can,” Linkara told him, kissing him again. “With me.”

Harvey nodded and squeezed Linkara once more before letting go. Linkara held his hand and they started walking up the hill together. Harvey kept looking around at all the gravesites around them, feeling a throbbing pain in his heart. There were so many of them here. He caught glimpses of names, of epitaphs. “Mary – darling mother”; “Benjamin – beloved brother”; “John – dear friend”; all people who had meant the world to someone and were now lost from this world forever.

All the graves seemed well-tended, at least. None of the graves, no matter how old, looked rusted or unclean. There were fresh flowers in front of nearly all of them, and the grass was green and cut tidily. That was a small comfort, for Harvey would’ve felt even worse if he saw Charlie’s grave overrun by age, by time – two things Harvey often found himself despising.

Harvey looked ahead and saw, far off in the distance, the familiar cross. Even that far away, he knew it was his. His chest tightened and he turned and tried to run away, but Linkara held firm. “Kid, please-”

“You told me to make sure you made it up there, Harvey. I don’t go back on my word. I know it’s hard, and we can take all night if we need to, but you’re going to make it up that hill.”

“I… I can’t…” The singer whimpered, looking at Linkara’s car desperately.

Linkara spotted a bench nearby and pulled Harvey over to it, sitting them down. “It really has been a long time for you, hasn’t it?” Harvey laid his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“I hate cemeteries,” Harvey muttered. “I hate funerals. I hate the fact that good people have to die.” He sighed. “After Charlie’s funeral, it broke me. I just couldn’t handle the thought of him – my own son – just being put in a box and buried somewhere. He… he was such a great kid. He was so… so alive, y’know? How can someone just be there one minute and then not the next?"

Linkara nodded, slipping his hand into Harvey’s. “These things are never easy.”

“I remember my wife insisting on a religious ceremony. It comforted her. Fat lot of good it did me, I couldn’t even stand thinking about it.” Harvey’s voice was bitter. “Hearing them talk about how great it was, that he was in a better place… I was pissed off that he couldn’t just let him be happy here. I remember some of the times when I was so drunk I couldn’t handle myself, just stumbling through the streets and screaming at God to give Charlie back.”

Linkara listened patiently. “Are you still mad at him?”

Harvey sighed. “No. I eventually realized that I was blaming the wrong guy.”

“Harvey, Charlie’s death wasn’t your fault,” Linkara told him. “It wasn’t God’s fault, it wasn’t your wife’s fault, it wasn’t anybody’s. It isn’t fair when anyone gets that sick. When unfair things happen, everybody looks for something to blame, because they need to make sense of it all. They need to know that something caused this to happen. But sometimes… things just are.”

Harvey took this in. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” They were quiet for a moment. “I wonder whatever happened to her. My wife, I mean. I haven’t seen her since the day she left. It’s been… gosh, it’s been decades. She coulda remarried, maybe even had another kid or two. For all I know, they don’t even know my name.”

“Does that bother you?”

“Nah. She was a good gal, she deserved to be happy. I never blamed her for walking out on me. In a way, I’m sorta proud of her, because she knew when it was time to save herself. I certainly never learned that.”

“And yet look at you now,” Linkara reminded him. “You seem to be doing okay in spite of it all.” Harvey gave a soft chuckle.

“That ain’t because of me, Kid. That was all you. If I hadn’t wound up in the future and found you when I did, I would’ve drank myself to death or eaten my own gun. I don’t know where I’d be without your love, Linkara.”

“Harvey… ” Linkara kissed his cheek and tried to compose himself. “I’m glad I was able to give you a family again.”

“Yeah, we got a good family going, don’t we? Doc, Chuckles, Blue, the ninja…” Harvey trailed off, but Linkara knew who he was thinking of.

“90s Kid really does care about you, Harvey,” Linkara said softly. “He looks up to you as a father.”

“I know. Before, I woulda balked at the very idea, but now I can’t imagine it any other way.” He turned to Linkara suddenly. “Junior knows, Kid.”

Linkara’s eyes widened. “Oh God. Harvey-”

“No, it’s okay. He heard us talking recently and he told me that… that he wanted to be a good Charlie for me now.” He looked down and tried to get his throat to open again. “Y’know, it’s kinda funny… Junior could never replace my Charlie, but… he really is a good kid, y’know? And when I hear about what a crap job his own father did for him, it’s almost like… we’re both getting a second chance.”

“90s Kid never really talks about his life before coming here,” Linkara said, swinging his legs a bit. “You’d never think by looking at him that he wasn’t happy.”

“That’s how Charlie was too. No matter how much stuff he had to go through, he never let anything get him down,” Harvey said. “Sometimes when I think of all the crap Junior’s had to deal with, and then I see how bright he smiles… it’s like Charlie’s telling me that things are gonna be alright.”

Harvey got off the bench and onto his feet. “I think I’ve kept him waiting long enough.” Linkara got up and slid his arm around Harvey’s shoulders as they walked further up the hill.

It only took a few more minutes before Charlie’s grave came closer into view. The engraving was visible now. At the sight of the name, tears started to form in Harvey’s eyes. He was actually here. After all these years, after thinking he’d never be able to make it, he was almost there. Linkara squeezed his shoulder.

“Are you ready for this, Harvey?”

“No,” Harvey replied softly. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to anyway.”

Harvey and Linkara kept walking, until finally the cross was at their feet. Harvey knelt down before the grave and Linkara remained standing, placing his hands on Harvey’s shoulders in a silent show of support. Harvey took a few deep breaths, closing his eyes and trying to think of what to say. Getting here was hard enough, now he had to say something too? After opening his mouth and closing it again three times, he finally wet his lips and began to speak.

“Hey, Charlie.” His voice quivered. “It’s Dad. It’s, uh, it’s been a long time, huh? I know I shoulda visited sooner, but I just… I’m so sorry, kiddo. I probably shoulda brought flowers or something, huh? I couldn’t even get that right…”

“Harvey, no,” Linkara murmured, squeezing his shoulders. “Don’t beat yourself up, don’t do that.”

Harvey put his hand over Linkara’s and looked up for a moment before looking back at the grave. “You don’t know how much you’ve been on my mind, Charlie,” Harvey continued. “Even on days where I’m happy and I seem fine, I think about you every day. I see a little bit of you everywhere. Kids playing in the park, or seeing those puppies that you always begged me for, or when I see things I know you’d love if you could only be here with me.”

Linkara was silent, but he squeezed Harvey’s shoulders again when it suddenly clicked in his mind a big reason for Harvey’s Pokémon obsession.

“Some days I think about you more than others. Like Father’s Day, you were all I could think about from the moment I woke up. There are some days it’s hard to even want to get out of bed in the morning. I just wanna ignore everybody and everything and not want to see or think or hear or feel.” Harvey sighed. “But then I think of you. And I remember how much it must’ve hurt for you to have to get through all those days when you were hurting. But you toughed it out, you got through it anyway. And so I keep getting up.”

Linkara knelt down beside Harvey, putting his arm around him and looking at the grave with a heavy heart. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what Harvey had gone through. How do you go on after losing a child? Having your wife walk out on you? No career, no family, not a friend in the world. And all that after watching someone you love get sicker and sicker. “I hope I never lose Harvey like that,” Linkara thought, feeling a lump form in his throat.

“I hope they’re taking care of you up there,” Harvey went on. “If they aren’t, you just tell me and I’ll come up and punch their lights out for ya.” Linkara couldn’t help smiling. Leave it to Harvey to use his humor as a shield. “As for me… you don’t have to worry about me, Charlie. I don’t know how I got so lucky, but I managed to find myself a whole new family.”

Harvey’s eyes widened and he quickly went on. “I don’t mean that they’re replacing you! They could never replace what I had with you and your mother – but they are helping me remember what it was like to have people you can always come home to, people who you always know will have your back.”

Harvey put his arm around Linkara and squeezed his shoulder. “This is Linkara. If it weren’t for this guy, I wouldn’t still be here. He picked me up off the side of the road and put my whole life back together like magic. He’s good at stuff like that.” Another tiny smile. “I don’t know why, but he loves me, Charlie. And I love him.”

Linkara finally let his emotions break through, tears sliding down his face. He buried his face into Harvey’s shoulder and Harvey rested his head on his chest, taking a moment to breathe. After a few moments, Harvey’s voice started again, but he didn’t leave his spot in Linkara’s arms. “I live with a lot of people now. There’s Boffo, he’s a clown, and he’s the sweetest guy you ever did see. He don’t talk much, but he’s always there when you need him. You woulda loved him if he came to cheer you up back then.”

“There’s Doctor Linksano, and he’s a bit of a nutball. I give that guy a hard time, but he’s a genius, Charlie. The place is never dull when the doc’s got a new invention to share. He even managed to work his magic on me a few times. I wish you could see him work. He’d be able to build you up something great in no time.”

“Oh, and get this, Charlie, I live with a genuine robot too,” Harvey continued. “His name is Pollo and he can talk and fly and fight bad guys. He’s just like the toys you had on your shelves. You woulda loved getting to meet him for sure.”

“I even live with a ninja now. The Ninja-Style Dancer. He’s a ballerina, but don’t let that fool you. He can take any threat down with grace and class. We bicker a lot, but he’s a good guy, even if I can cook better than him.” Linkara couldn’t help chuckling and sniffling on Harvey’s shoulder after hearing this.

“Then there’s 90s Kid.” Harvey paused for a moment, as though he was trying to pick his words carefully. “He’s a teenager that got pulled out of time, just like me. Not as far, though. He’s a bit older than you… than you w-were when…” Harvey closed his eyes and struggled to control himself. Linkara kissed the back of his neck until he could calm down.

“H-he’s almost eighteen. Almost an adult, but he still has that innocence that I loved in you, Charlie. He loves comic books and cartoons and all those things you liked. He… he’s a good kid. And he… he never really had a dad in his time. Not one like I was to you. And you may not believe this, but he used to be called Charlie. I don’t call him that, because he likes his new name better.” Tears finally won their battle to escape, rolling down his face, but he went on. “He could never, ever replace you, Charlie, but he’s like a son to me now. I don’t know if I could get along without him. Sometimes it… it almost feels like you’re back again. Like you came and taught him how to be just like you.”

Harvey took some deep breaths and placed a hand on the grave. “I’m gonna take care of him, Charlie. To try and be a good dad for him, the way I tried to be a good dad for you. He would’ve loved to know ya. You two would’ve gotten along great. But… I’m never gonna forget you, Charlie. You’ll always be my son. You’re always gonna be a part of me. And I promise, even if it takes me a long time, I’ll come back here. I…I love you so damn much…”

Harvey broke down, clinging to Linkara and sobbing, while the hero did the same. Some were tears of sorrow, but it was mostly tears of catharsis and relief, realizing that he had done it. He had managed to make it back here and tell Charlie where he’d been, all about his life now. And even though it hurt to cry, he felt some sort of calm, like something was easing his pain and giving him peace.

Linkara held Harvey tightly as he got out all his tears. He couldn’t have been more touched by how Harvey talked about them all, feeling as though they really were all a family now. He had never known Charlie, but he felt oddly close to him and something stirred in him to actually start speaking.

“I know you’ve only just met me, Charlie,” Linkara began. “But I hope you know that I love your dad more than anyone in the world. I promise that I’m gonna take care of him, and that I’m not ever gonna let him get the way he was when… before I found him.” Harvey clung to Linkara tighter, feeling a new wave of emotion sweep him.

Harvey and Linkara stayed there for quite some time, neither of them knew how long exactly. But eventually the sun began to set and Harvey reached for his handkerchief to clean both of their faces. Linkara stood up and helped Harvey to his feet, giving him a warm hug before pulling back and kissing him. “You did it, Harvey.”

“Thanks to you, Kid,” he said, trying to smile. Linkara smiled back and took his hand as they made their way back to the car.

\--

When Linkara and Harvey returned to the base, 90s Kid was lying on the couch with a comic book. The rest of the living room was empty, as everyone else had already gone to sleep. The teenager caught sight of the two and immediately closed his book, tossing it to the coffee table. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Linkara and Harvey said in unison. 90s Kid sat up to get a better look at them.

“Are you dudes okay?” he asked in a quiet tone. Harvey hadn’t told him he was visiting Charlie’s grave that day, just that he was ‘going somewhere important’, but it didn’t surprise him that the teen had made an educated guess.

Linkara looked to Harvey, who nodded. “Yeah, we’re okay.”

“Nope.” 90s Kid got up and came over to the two before pulling both into a group hug. “Now you are.”

Linkara and Harvey stood still in surprise for a moment before hugging 90s Kid back. Harvey felt himself grow on the verge of tears again but his smile was wide as he felt warmth flow through him.

_“You’re right, Junior. I’m okay now. Now that I’m with my family again.”_


End file.
